The Measure
by Rat
Summary: There is one word, friend, and to he who fits the description it would be criminal to prescribe the same label to others who mean less.


I am not a man without acquaintances. There are many men that I am friendly with and that I have no trouble sitting down with in a pub and sharing a good ale and some stories. Time and circumstance has altered my definition of friendship. When I was a young man, a friend was anyone I should be delighted to say hello to on the street as I passed by. In my military career I learnt many lessons. I learned that to measure a friendship is not an easy task.

I considered a man my friend who kept me company and we boasted of our courage and shared some secret fears. As close friends we mutually promised to bring word to loved ones should the other not make it through the next night alive.

I considered a man my friend who shared his last cigarette with me before going into battle.

Should I still consider that man my friend after he turned his back and ran while I lay bleeding on the ground?

There are layers of friendships and courage. I believe there should be adequate words for the degree to which people mean to us, but the words we have are severely lacking. There is one word, friend, and to he who fits the description it would be criminal to prescribe the same label to others who mean less.

That is why I have many acquaintances, but one intimate friend.

In fact I did not seek out the company of anyone very often, and the number of times I invited anyone into our rooms to visit could be counted on one hand. I am a very private individual, and other than Holmes's clients coming to call, I felt it an intrusion to have others entering what I considered our space.

The visitor I had that day was not a welcome one. He arrived without notice, and Mrs Hudson, being used to strangers at the door at all hours saw nothing amiss with showing him in. I felt it would be impolite to request he leave and seek an appropriate appointment seeing as he was already standing in our sitting room, and so I committed the next error of judgement and asked him to sit.

"Dr Theodore. To what can I owe the pleasure." I sat across from him, hoping this would be an interview that would end without too much delay.

"Dr Watson." He replied, and handed me a newspaper clipping.

It seemed an odd gesture, and I wondered at first if he did not mean for me to introduce him to Holmes for some kind of matter. Then I read the clipping, and my blood ran cold.

"I was otherwise involved at the time." I said simply. I was not fond of offering up excuses no matter how relevant they may be.

"If you hoped that your absence would hide your earlier transgressions in this matter, I daresay you have failed." Dr Theodore pulled a cigar out of his pocket and slowly lit it and deeply inhaled.

"My absence had nothing to do with trying to avoid…" I heard the footsteps on the stairs then. There are times that I can be nearly as adept as Holmes at putting together clues. I knew it was him on the steps because Mrs Hudson never allowed any visitors to our sitting room unescorted. I knew he was in a good mood because of the speed and lightness of his step. I also knew exactly when he deduced there was a stranger in our sitting room. His step stopped abruptly, and then resumed more slowly. A moment later the door opened.

Holmes knew perfectly well that we had a visitor but as he hung up his coat and hat he turned and feigned surprise at the sight of my guest. "Oh Watson, I am sorry. I hope I am not intruding."

I could not reconcile between my warring feelings of dread and relief. Dread, because I had absolutely no wish to get Holmes involved in the mire I had just found myself in, and relief because there is no one I would rather have on my side in times of trouble.

Dr Theodore stood up and offered his hand. "Sherlock Holmes I presume. I have read about yours and Watson's exploits. Tell me, is there any truth to your exceptional abilities?"

"Exploits? I thought most of them were labeled adventures. In any case, I could not tell you because I have yet to read them." Holmes said breezily.

That was an interesting lie. There would have been none of the arguments and derisive comments coming from him about my romanticism if he never read any of the stories I wrote. What game was Holmes playing at now? It did not matter, I was more eager be rid of the threat Dr Theodore posed. I stood up and rudely walked between the two men as they were about to shake hands.

I was pleased to notice that Holmes jumped back slightly as I passed, but he quickly recovered and offered his hand yet again.

To my absolute horror, Dr Theodore heartily took his hand, pumped it vigorously, and then held on at the wrist. Holmes could have broken the hold with hardly any effort, but he did not. He allowed the doctor to stare down at his hand, and didn't even flinch when the disgusting man pawed at his fingers to get an even more thorough look. "Science can tell a lot from a man's fingers." The doctor explained.

"My apologies." I interrupted again. "Mr Holmes, a telegram arrived for you from the yard. I'm afraid your presence is required immediately. I will see you to the door Dr Theodore."

I may as well have been speaking to the wall. Neither of them reacted in the slightest, which was what prompted my next move. I am not proud of myself and I do tend to act rashly when my temper is heated, but it was in defence of my friend that I acted as I did. I slapped Holmes hand away from Doctor Theodore's examination and pushed him to the side. I do not know if it was out of sheer shock that Holmes did not resist my rough treatment, or if his curiosity was simply roused by my uncharacteristic behaviour.

Finally the man moved. He grinned at me, and then nodded to Holmes. "This has been a fascinating meeting."

"You have outworn your welcome. You have no right to come in here and subject my colleague to examination. I will be bringing the matter to the board." I added.

"Oh, please do. I am sure they will be just as fascinated as I. Association does warrant just cause." He chuckled and then turned and plodded down the stairs. I watched him leave, needing to satisfy myself that he was fully out the door before I could even think to relax. I then turned and observed Holmes perched on the arm of the couch, regarding me closely.

"I do apologize." I told him quickly.

"Colleague?" He asked. "You mentioned a telegram?"

"You know perfectly well I made that up. That man is an ill mannered, pompous, ignorant, mass of bile."

Holmes laughed. "And he has you quite worked up. Tell me, what was his purpose here?"

That was something I simply could not explain, at least not yet. Not until I had at least talked to someone on the board to get a better idea of exactly what had gone on in my absence. "I have some matters I must attend to, please excuse me." I grabbed my jacket and hat, and practically ran out of the house.

It wasn't until much later that I returned, and it wasn't with the answers I'd been hoping for. I found Holmes curled up in his chair by the fire, smoking a great cloud into the sitting room and I needed to open the window for some fresh air lest I choke.

He watched me and slowly placed his pipe aside. "Doctor Theodore." He said. "Retired from active medicine. Now teaching. Overcome with debilitating arthritis pains in his knees and hands. And he is an advisor on the medical review board."

I should have known he would feel the need to dissect the strange interview from earlier. "Yes. That is so."

"You have news clippings. I took the liberty of reading some of them. The articles are all about recent trials regarding the Labouchere Amendment and Oscar Wilde's recent sentencing is among them. I hope you do not mind me looking at your desk."

"Not at all." I poured myself a brandy. "Holmes. I must apologise again, my manners were appalling. I had no right to lay hands on you. I can only offer in my defence that my disgust for the situation overwhelmed my sense."

He nodded. "You can make up for the lapse with an explanation."

"Of course. I simply wish to assure you, I will be looking for new lodgings first thing in the morning." In hindsight there were probably better ways to start off the conversation. But this part was most difficult for me and so I wished to get it over with first.

I regretted it immediately. Holmes looked stricken. "There have been rumours?"

"Rumour can be disregarded. It is because of facts that have recently come to light. I cannot justify remaining here in those circumstances."

"You must do what you must." Holmes said quickly. He shifted up to the edge of the chair, his hand reached out half way to mine. "Are these facts so damning that you could not even consider them to be false?"

"But that is the problem. I know they are not false. Not even you can alter what is already in motion. I have been all afternoon ascertaining the truth of things and it is worse than I'd imagined. They have ample justification for suspicion."

"On whose word?"

"Doctor Theodore."

Holmes hit his fist against the arm of the chair. "That is impossible. Reconsider your thoughts on the matter, you have always taken my word as truth in the past. For the sake of our friendship, please believe it now. There can be no evidence, I assure you I have done nothing."

It is always jarring for me to remember that Holmes power of deductive reasoning rests in his observation of facts, and not a supernatural ability to read minds. With the wrong facts, it was no surprise that he would come to the wrong conclusions. "Of course you have done nothing my friend." I thought about what he might have been piecing together throughout the day. The articles on my desk about inverts, the strange meeting with Doctor Theodore who seemed intent on examining his fingers. I could see how things must have looked to him.

"Then please, explain." Holmes offered, sitting back and looking completely exhausted.

"Your good nature where I am concerned will do you no favours. We must sever ties immediately."

"But why? If I have done nothing, then what is it you have done? You are the most respectable man I know."

"There was an incident while I was serving in Afghanistan. I was given the task to examine a man suspected of perversion. I willfully failed in my duty, and it is that which has recently come to light. I was to testify at the hearing, but I was unable to attend."

"On what day?"

"Holmes. It is past, it does not matter." I assured him. He pinned me with a look and I sighed. He would search it out on his own if I did not tell him. "May seventh."

He nodded. He would remember the date. We'd been locked in a cellar for two days, and that had been the second of them. "And that would explain why you were so upset that we could not return to London on time." Holmes refilled his pipe. "How serious are the charges against you?"

"At the moment it is negligence. However, Dr Theodore is investigating a more serious charge of crimes against the person, in which case I am afraid that our friendship will garner much scrutiny, and for that I cannot express how sorry I am."

"And that is why Dr Theodore wished to measure my fingers." Holmes inspected his own hand and held up his fingers.

"There is nonsense going about that the measure of the index finger as compared to the ring finger can detect immoral tendencies." I explained

"So I am already suspect. I have read something on it, but I must admit I have never given it any amount of serious study. How odd, that something so physical can reflect an inner turmoil. I now understand your distress earlier at having Dr Theodore examine my hands. You must have known that my fingers are incriminating evidence."

"What you have, are the most amazing musician hands I have ever encountered. The length of your fingers is no measure for anything other than the length of your finger." Watson laughed. "This contrivance is simply a sham to be used to prove whatever they want proven. In fact it contradicts everything the law stands for. If a physical manifestation could be proven, then it would not be a matter of choosing immorality but rather being born into it. If a man is born into immorality, what does that say about the divine plan of God? Would He design man to be so flawed that his natural actions would be against the laws of humanity? But it is a neat little package to present on stand to prove one's point to those who don't know any better."

"Ah." Holmes placed his hands in his lap and regarded me closely. "I will, of course, stand by you whatever comes. But you must tell me now, if they accuse you of what you fear, is there any basis at all to their allegations?"

I never expected a declaration of loyalty, and I certainly was not prepared for so blunt and forward of a question. I wasn't even certain how to answer, and so I remained silent. Shockingly, he was not perturbed by the implications.

"Is there any chance that they may find an inconvenient school friend or associate able to testify against you?"

"Are you telling me there is something about me you do not already know? Have you not deduced it?"

"Then you have nothing to fear." Holmes stated. "We will fight this and we will prevail."


End file.
